Nix on the PhD

I decided not to apply for the UW Drama PhD. I have learned to pay attention to where the universe says "Yes" and where it says "No". It persistently said, "No" to the PhD.

When the universe is saying Yes, doors open, walls melt away. The PhD path had kindly doors and walls, but they neither opened or melted.

Jeff, my housemate, is a profound introvert and loves working at his bookstore, Half-Price Books. The work, the pace, the organizing, and the immersion in books nourish him. I am a different animal.

In their gentle, inquiring way, that's what the UW profs kept saying -- "Are you SURE you're not a different animal? Cuz, looking at your seven years in theatre, you sure look like one. People can change. If this is in your heart, please apply... but are you sure?"

Jeff said a similar thing. "Their gods are not your gods," he said, laying on the couch, sipping his tea. "Your gods are Leonid and Eugenio. Their gods are the journals. Your church is an empty studio. Their church is a university hall. You've wandered into the wrong church."

When strangers and your housemate start saying the same thing, it's time to listen.

The meta-thing I learned is, if you want to know if a Way is for you, seek masters of the Way. The professors were present, direct, thoughtful, and attentive. They answered questions without beating around the bush. They asked good questions. They spoke respectfully, and plainly.

On the meta-level, just by being around three masters, you can tell -- is this who I already am? Who I am becoming? Around Eugenio and Leonid, the answer was a pure Yes: I too, will someday have a company, built on sound principles, doing Great work, and publishing & teaching worldwide about it.